What is it about people who are afraid to be assertive when they like someone? Do we learn something when we are babies that causes us to act cautiously when getting involved with someone? I find myself quite perplexed by this - even at this age.

I personally have commitment problems. When it comes to wanting a relationship with someone, I become very cautious about admitting anything remotely to do with how I feel about this person. However, if it's just an amazing tryst, things seem way easier.

Lately, I have been feeling like a total freak about this because I have allowed other people's values to infiltrate mine which starts me feeling uncertain.

Being in my early forties, I really do feel like life is too short to hesitate on these matters yet I do when it comes to my heart. However, when it comes to my libido, I just throw caution (and my heart) to the wind. I believe there is no point in just waiting for the relationship to happen and that if one has needs they should take care of them. Perhaps that comes from years of not having a serious relationship.

It kind of freaks me out when I hear early twenty-somethings pining for a relationship. I don't think most of the people that age know themselves well enough and that creates big trouble when put into the mix with another person in the same situation. My advice is always to experiment with people but don't make having a boyfriend/girlfriend your first priority. Have fun. Be careful if you are out there just having sex, but have fun with it.

At that age, I hardly thought about commitment...

Looking back, I think that my early twenties were the worst time of my life . One was always worried about whether they were liked or were thought of being attractive by others. I hated not knowing and had my most fun when I was out there just doing things and people because I had the guts to approach someone that I liked. The best experiences I had was when I just let down my guards and went for whatever I wanted at that particular moment in time. It was frowned upon by others but I didn't care because I was getting my needs met. And even though it was the worst time of my life, what I learned then was to become the person I am now.

And, I have been working on my commitment issues of late and I am learning all sorts of new things about myself. It is possible to apply the rules of honesty to the mix of finding a relationship. I suppose the thing that one really has to work on is to not make such a big deal if the other person does not feel the same way. After all, not everyone can predict whether a relationship can go the distance. It's all about the learning process.

People grow independently and together...